Today is Memorial Day in the United States. In 1971, Congress established a national holiday remembering all military personnel who lost their lives in the nation’s wars. The meaning of Memorial Day is sometimes lost as it has become known an unofficial beginning of summer and a time for social gatherings. In contrast to other holidays, “Happy Memorial Day” is an odd greeting to give someone. It is a time to reflect on the price paid for our freedom.

Memorial Day is also a fitting occasion to reflect on legacy. Americans enjoy cookouts, sales, ball games, and other fun activities because of the sacrifices made by members of our armed forces. Of course, some of our military made the ultimate sacrifice and gave their lives in service. Their legacy is unmistakable. Short of dying for your country, what will be your legacy?

This week’s quote for reflection is appropriate for Memorial Day. It comes from a famous American patriot, John Glenn. He was a navy pilot, serving in World War II and the Korean War. Glenn was an astronaut in the Mercury program and later flew a space shuttle mission at the tender age of 77. He also served as U.S. Senator for four terms. In short, if someone was an expert on legacy it was John Glenn.

Interestingly, John Glenn downplayed what his legacy might be to those who followed him. Instead, he preferred to focus on living in the moment… his “live-acy” as he called it.

Three Videos in Our Mind

John Glenn’s attitude toward his own legacy is a model worth emulating. He built a one-of-a-kind résumé over a career that spanned more than 50 years. Glenn earned the right to rest on his laurels, but he opted not to do so. His attention was on the present. I wish I could say my attention is also on the present, but it is not as often as it should be.

Three videos are running in our minds at any given time: the past, present, and future. The highlight reel of the past can sometimes be exhilarating, sometimes embarrassing, and sometimes even saddening to watch. The preview clips from the future can trigger similar emotions.

With so much attention given to the past and anticipation for the future, it is easy to shortchange ourselves in the here and now. We may want to wipe out memory of some of the content of the past video. Some parts of the future video we want to edit or delete by exerting control (which we may or may not have over future outcomes).

The Live-acy Video

The focus thus far has been on two of the three videos running in our minds, the past and future. This week, spend more time on the video that is the present time in your life. If you set goals at the beginning of the year (a form of future video content), are you completing the daily and weekly tasks needed to achieve those goals? Or, have the goals become a distant memory because they did not receive attention in the present?

If you are concerned about your legacy, remember how it will be determined. Our actions in the present define the narrative that will be our personal brand legacy in the future. A life spent loving, listening, helping, and learning will be remembered for those actions. On the other hand, too much time spent regretting the past or fretting about the future deprives us of living now. The result is we are not as valuable to others as we could be.

An Interest in Living

This week’s mindset to practice is simple: take an interest in living. John Glenn’s quote is not an “anything goes” type of call. We still must operate within boundaries that accept the past and understand the future. However, we must be better at living in the moment, appreciating what is going on and the people involved.

The person who has “made it;” the “overnight success;” the lucky one “born with a silver spoon in his mouth;” they are representations of accomplishment. However, people who fit these descriptions are being photographed after they cross the finish line. We see them as winners, but we are often not privy to the pain, setbacks, and failures that happened along the way.

This week’s quote is a reminder that successful people do not start there. It is a journey to reach the point of observable achievement. They usually started by gaining small victories that snowballed into greater success.

The words of the Greek orator Demosthenes suggest we trace large scale success back to tackling small opportunities. To go big, we must start small.

The Benefits of Small Thinking

Encouraging people to think small, not big is counter to nearly every book written about success. I agree with the basic premise of that view—small thinking is limiting and sabotages personal growth. However, Demosthenes is not advocating we limit our sights. Instead, he frames great achievement as the culmination of many small victories.

Consider small thinking as Goal Setting 101; in order to reach a goal it requires completing smaller tasks along the way. The marathon runner does not stumble out of bed on race day deciding to run 26.2 miles. Instead, it is the day that is the payoff for months of training. The newly appointed CEO did not have her name drawn from a hat to win the job. She put in years of moving through the ranks. Along the way, she gained experience, learned new skills, and brought more value to the organization.

It can be more appealing to focus on the big goals like landing the executive position, winning the league championship, or earning an advanced degree. However, you will never realize them without checking off smaller achievements that comprise the journey to the big goal.

My Small Start Story

I reflected on the idea that small opportunities often lead to great enterprises. “Had I experienced the power of small opportunities?” I asked myself. A situation came to mind immediately that I credit for empowering me to step out of my comfort zone. Although it happened nearly 20 years ago, it impacts my behavior to this day.

We signed up our middle son, Sidney, to play soccer for the first time. The league director phoned with information about Sidney’s team assignment. My excitement for the upcoming season was soon dampened by news the director shared: Sidney’s team did not have a coach. The team would have to be disbanded without a coach to lead the boys. You might be able to predict the follow-up question from the director: “Would you be interested in coaching the team, Mr. Roy?” I knew the question was coming, too.

It wasn’t that I did not want to coach; the challenge was I knew nothing about soccer. I played and followed sports my entire life, but soccer was not a sport played during my youth. I apparently forgot that I knew nothing about soccer because I agreed to coach a group of five-year-old kids. Thankfully, I had two players on the school soccer team as students in my classes that semester. They shared ideas on some basic drills to run. Looking back, the season was one of the most rewarding experiences I have had as an adult. It gave me confidence to tackle other opportunities when they came my way that challenged me to do something new.

Think Small and Big Will Follow

I continue to be on the lookout for small opportunities. Sometimes, it seems too overwhelming to take on new tasks or projects. Your plate may be full, and the last thing you need is something else to do. While it is important to not take on more than you can handle, we are challenged to balance new opportunities and potential overload.

Completing small tasks and projects has a snowball effect. Experience gained and momentum built moves us forward to new experiences that stretch our capabilities. It is easy to say “no” as new opportunities come along, but are we doing so at the expense of growth? Getting to the big wins often requires a willingness to start with small opportunities.

We live in exciting yet challenging times when it comes to carving out a distinctive brand. It is easier than ever before to create, deliver, and amplify your brand message. Doing so is no longer reserved for the powerful or those with access to communication channels… we all have access to communication channels.

The challenge to brand building is reconciling your brand message with the likelihood that it will not resonate with everyone. In fact, you may very well find fierce opposition to brand values for which there is no compromise. A safe play could be to follow the lead of other brands. We value best practices and other proven methods or tactics. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, or so we have been told.

This week’s One to Grow On quote is encouragement to avoid the inclination to be followers. Author Herman Melville suggests failing in originality holds greater value than succeeding in imitation.  The thought of failing at anything may not seem like an aspiration, but should we be open to the possibility of failure in trying something original?

Comfort in Imitation

As I reflected on Melville’s quote, I quickly identified that any decision to pursue imitation for me is driven by a desire to remain in a comfort zone. Why take risks that could lead to failure when the comfort zone offers certainty? The attraction of the comfort zone varies with one’s risk aversion. For some people, the comfort zone is like a force field that keeps out pain and embarrassment that can come with failure.

The lure of imitation is strong when it comes to following best practices. A popular format for presenting best practices is lists. The suggestion is follow the list and you, too, will find success. It is like a paint-by-numbers approach to life.

A quick search for marketing best practices list returned these examples:

• “5 Best Practices for B2B Email Marketing List Management”
• “6 Mind-Blowing Tips to Optimize Your Social Media Marketing”
• “105 Ways to Build Your Email List: Tips, Tactics and Best Practices”

You have probably seen such “listicles.” The premise is amazingly simple—follow the guidance of the list for a proven path to success. If you can withstand having your mind blown and have the patience to sift through 105 ways to do something, positive results can come your way. The question is whether the success is yours, or are you living out someone else’s plan?

The Call to Originality

One of the most refreshing aspects of today’s marketing environment is the space for authentic brands. An alternative to cookie-cutter brand thinking is to establish brands consistent with personal values of the brand owner. I admire brands whose founding story includes a strong commitment to values. Patagonia, TOMS, and Warby Parker are three brands that come to mind as being rooted in their values. These brands come across as original because their strategies are consistent with their values and beliefs. In other words, they have succeeded by being original.

Building a brand on originality has drawbacks, chief among them is the brand will not be embraced by everyone. Personal conviction about your brand’s values will run into opposition and indifference. Your originality sucks (I don’t think so, but others will because you are “different”). Moreover, being original does not guarantee success. You can feel like you have not only stepped beyond a comfort zone; you are on a ledge and depending on the approval of others to maintain balance.

The Originality Obligation

Achievement rarely occurs from imitation. Author Todd Henry ends each episode of his Accidental Creative podcast by saying: “Cover bands don’t change the world. Don’t be a cover band. You need to find your unique voice.” Being original is hard and risky compared to being an imitator. However, the rewards and fulfillment awaiting those willing to pursue originality makes it an intriguing proposition.

 

 

 

 

 

Are you patient to a fault? In general, patience is a desirable trait and one from which the world could benefit if we had more of it. So, how can be patience by a liability? It holds us back when it is a reason for inaction. You have probably heard these sayings:

• “Patience is a virtue.”
• “I’m waiting for my ship to come in.”
• “Rome wasn’t built in a day.”

We can convince ourselves to sit back, have patience, and opportunity will find us sooner or later. The United States is a country built upon the idea that seizing opportunity can not only provide a living but transform lives. Do you want to wait for that possibility or proactively try to make it happen?

This week’s One to Grow On quote is about seizing opportunity. Although the bravado of the message sounds like it would have come from an entrepreneur or business leader, it is attributed to comedian Milton Berle.

It was more than a quip from Berle; he was involved in show business for 80 of his 93 years. His track record suggests he knew what he was talking about when it came to finding opportunity.

Hide or Seek?

The idea of creating our own opportunity can be at the same time thrilling and intimidating. One of the hallmarks of free market economy is the freedom to make our own way. We do not have to wait on an employer or the government to come through for us. As my friend and success expert Colby Jubenville says, “Go your own way.” In other words, we have the freedom to plot our own course. This possibility should thrill you to no end.

The thought of being able to build the door of opportunity is not always exhilarating. For many people, they are paralyzed by the prospect of taking on risk associated with a new opportunity. Instead of building the door of opportunity, we defer with reasoning such as:

• “Wait until the kids get older.”
• “The end of the year is a bad time to start.”
• “I need to save more money first.”

I am going to stop here because the reasons were starting to come in a rush to me. You get the point—we unwittingly hide from opportunity, so much so we probably would not answer even if it knocked.

Your Building Projects

Answering the knock of opportunity or building a door to open new opportunities may be overwhelming. However, there is a good chance you are more experienced than you think. Reflect on times you answered the knock or were forced to figure out new opportunities. Chances are you have done it before and succeeded.

In my case, I think about the three books I have written in the past 18 months. I did not wait for a publisher to give me its stamp of approval (believe me, I tried). However, I knew that it was no longer necessary to wait for opportunity to knock in the publishing industry. Instead of missing out on sharing my knowledge to help others, I built my own door and self-published the books.

No Wait

Are you ready to build a door? If you are tired of waiting for opportunity to knock, you should be making a list of building supplies needed to make your own door. It is not necessary to obtain permission to chase opportunity. You make the call. It may start off as a side hustle, more of a slow build rather than an extreme makeover. No matter how fast you build, just be sure to have a blueprint so that you can build the door to usher in opportunity.

Don’t wait around for opportunity to knock. It is time to build your own door so opportunity can come knocking.

 

Are you an encourager? We have people in our lives that support us, that urge us to keep going when we could talk ourselves out of action. Not only should we benefit from having encouragers around us, but we should pay it forward and encourage others who may need that nudge to take action and move forward.

Sadly, we also encounter disruptors in our life. They are the people who say it cannot be done, it is too risky. Disruptors might mean well, but their advice is detrimental to personal growth. Sometimes, their advice may not be well-intentioned. Their “help” is actually an attempt to hold you back.

This week’s One to Grow On quote is a Chinese proverb that exposes the disruptors in our lives. They are getting in the way of people who have committed to action. Disruptors are toxic and should be avoided at all costs.

Anatomy of a Disruptor

A disruptor could be a passive or active threat to your success. It can be tempting to write off a negative person as a malcontent or insignificant influence. Many times, the disruptor wants to spread misery like a virus. In that person’s mind, you should not have more success or fulfillment than them. Misery loves company, and you are invited along for the ride to nowhere with them.

While a disruptor could be mean-spirited and want you to wallow in their mediocrity, their insistence on holding you back could be driven by fear. They are afraid of being left behind. It is difficult for them to keep up with progress and growth. Doing so may require stepping outside their comfort zone. Rather than assume the risks associated with the possibility of failure, some disruptors play it safe and long for you to keep them company.

Attract Encouragers

The preceding discussion about disruptors was not much fun to write and even a bit depressing. Focus on those people who will not stand in the way and interrupt while you are “doing.” Take these action steps:

• Surround yourself with encouragers. The late author and success expert Jim Rohn said we are the average of the five people with whom we spend the most time. Who are those five people in your life? Are they encouragers or disruptors? You may be uncomfortable with the idea of “firing” your friends, even if they try to exert negative influence. At the very least, be aware of friends’ impact on your growth. If they are disruptors, recognize them as such and do not allow them to have disproportionate effect on your development.
• Make the proper inputs. It is easy to put down certain people for holding us back… too easy. We can be our own worst enemy when we fill our minds with self-doubt, false rationalizations, and negative thoughts about our potential for action. Ensure your inputs are consistent with an encourager’s mindset.
• Be an encourager to others. We attract what we give. If you want to be surrounded by encouragers, you must be one to the people you serve. You cannot be a disruptor in others’ lives and expect to have encouragers give you support. In short, give encouragement to get it.

Where Will You Be Standing?

The Chinese proverb calls for us to get out of the way of others in their growth journey. Instead, we should be standing beside or behind them, being a resource to help them overcome the abundant disruption they will face.  This week, I will be more mindful of where I stand and strive to be an encourager, not a disruptor. At the same time, I am looking around me to assess whether there are influences that are standing in my way.

Each day is full of decisions, many more than we realize. Many decisions require a conscious choice—should I do A or B? We make other decisions without giving them much thought. It could be a frequently made decision (e.g., where to stop for gasoline) or one made out of loyalty (e.g., where to go for a haircut).

Other decisions involve whether to make a decision at all. Should we embark on something that entails change, or do we play it safe and keep things as they are? This week’s One to Grow On quote comes from psychologist Abraham Maslow. He suggests decisions represent a choice between growth and staying where we are.

Which direction do you tend to step—forward into growth or backward into safety?

Safety is not Permanent Choice

For all of my 53 years of life, I have valued safety. Descriptors like conservative, risk-averse, and safe fit me perfectly. The tendency to pursue safety can be traced back to childhood. My siblings and I were not encouraged to take risks. Opting for safety (i.e., not changing) was a way to ensure we did not get in trouble.

However, I am not blaming my parents, teachers, or anyone else for being a close-to-the-vest adult today. I may have started there, but when I opt not to take the step forward for growth today that is my choice. It must be pinned on me, not anyone else. Dr. Maslow’s words forced me to reflect on the idea that when I play it safe, I am actually regressing. I am not preserving the present state and definitely not growing.

Growth and Regression Choices

I cannot fathom making a deliberate choice to go in the opposite direction from personal growth. Yet, that is exactly what Abraham Maslow suggests in his quote. Growth is a choice, and so is mediocrity. When we do not get the promotion, receive the award, or develop the relationship in ways we see others succeed in doing, we have to ask ourselves what choices need to be made to realize desired outcomes.

It is too convenient to say the boss has it in for you, your customers do not like you as much as they like a competing sales rep, or you have not had the same opportunities as others to grow. Chances are decisions to pursue safety land us in a place that is actually farther away from our goals and growth than we aspire to be.

Choose to Grow

This week, I am going to be proactive in looking to make decisions that represent a step forward. Opting for safety is an easy decision to make and involves little risk. It also offers little to no reward. Instead of attaching value in playing it safe, we must remember that choosing safety regularly can have the unintended effect of setting us back. We do not set out to get left behind. Resolve to strike a balance between making decisions that could move you forward while not putting your well being at risk.

Photo by Redd Angelo on Unsplash

For some people, “change” might as well be a four-letter word. We get comfortable in our jobs, relationships, and life in general. Change can take us to places we have never been… and we may not want to go! Change appears to be at odds with comfort. In order to change, we must step outside of our comfort zone and adapt to a new situation. Conversely, feelings of comfort come from consistency, or another way of looking at it is the absence of change.

This week’s One to Grow On quote calls for a different way of looking at change. Physicist Stephen Hawking equates adapting to change with intelligence. Hawking’s statement resonates with me as experience indicates change is closer to a certainty than possibility. Am I prepared to take change head-on, adapting to change to realize the best outcome possible?

It’s Going to Happen

Change is coming. The only uncertainties are the magnitude of change and how it will impact current conditions. The speed at which change happens can be breathtaking, too. Rapid change took the marketing profession by storm in recent years. A survey of marketing professionals by Adobe found that three-fourths of them believed marketing had changed more in a two-year period than it had the previous 50 years. That is a dizzying pace of change!

The external environment is a driver of change. Technology advancements, changes in economic conditions, cultural shifts, and competitive actions can upset the apple cart of stability. These forces are beyond our control. However, if we turn a blind eye to them or pretend they do not matter to us, we could get swept up in change in a way that puts us at a disadvantage. The insignificant competitor today could become the thorn in your side that causes great pain. Will you apply intelligence and change, or resist in order to stay in your comfort zone?

Why We Resist

While I buy in to Stephen Hawking’s idea that intelligence and adaptability are correlated, I see many intelligent people stubbornly resist change. Why do we resist change rather than deal with it?

• Naiveté. Ignorance is bliss, they say. However, lack of awareness of change in the external environment is anything but blissful. We must monitor for change and its potential impact on us.
• Fear of the unknown. Change can be scary. We may be forced to make changes to the routine or even more radical changes—a new job, new boss, different clientele, or strange city, to name a few. The unknown can be avoided by not embracing change, but likely at a cost to our growth.
• Fear of the known. The implications of change, benefits of adapting, and consequences of inaction may all be known. Yet, we do not want to embark on a path of change. It is as if we refuse to change and insist on status quo we can get our way. Good luck with that. Change is sparked by external influences. You can not wish them away.

Discern and Adapt

Change can be either a catalyst or foil to our personal growth. We can fall into a trap of resisting change, or we can be open to how we can benefit (or at least co-exist) with change. I am not suggesting all change is good, that we should blindly accept it. Sometimes, the external force driving change is someone else’s self-interest. Pressures for change could be coming from their desire to benefit. We should modify Stephen Hawking’s statement to say that intelligence is the ability to discern legitimate change and adapt to it.

An exciting time of year is approaching for students and faculty at colleges around the country: fall graduation. Thousands of students will complete the final leg of their education journey. The crowning moment will be taking part in their graduation ceremony. Anticipation is rightfully high among soon-to-be graduates. They are the envy of nearly all other students at their institution for whom work remains to complete their degree.

A running joke in my classes this time of semester is to ask how long it is until graduation. Someone in class has a countdown clock (like the one pictured above) set to the scheduled time for Commencement. They can tell me the days, hours, minutes, and seconds until the big event. Asking the question elicits laughs from students, but it also should serve as pause for reflection. Do we put too much emphasis on the countdown and not fully enjoy the journey that takes us to the end goal?

Be Careful What You Wish For

This week’s One to Grow On quote comes from boxing great Muhammad Ali. His words encourage us to focus on getting the most from each day instead of wishing away days in a countdown. Please do not misunderstand, I love the anticipation of counting down to a milestone or  goal as much as anyone. What can get lost in the excitement of a countdown is finding joy and value in the days that lead up to the end result.

I learned not to get too consumed in the countdown several years ago. My youngest son was in preschool, and as his final preschool year dragged on I thought about how nice it would be to have him on the same school schedule as his older brothers the next year. In my mind, I was rushing him through preschool to have a more convenient schedule. On the day of his preschool “graduation” ceremony, it dawned on me that we were moving on from this stage of his life forever. As our youngest child, my wife and I would never have the opportunity to take one of our children to preschool again. I cried when realizing I had foolishly wished away a few months of time for the sake of convenience. In short, I counted down the days when I could have done more to make the days count.

Make the Days Count

Let’s modify Muhammad Ali’s point—you can count down the days and make the days count. The aim should be to create value while counting down toward reaching a goal. For example, a college student who is counting down the days toward the end of the semester should identify tasks that must be completed and schedule them. Have a research paper to write? Select the days you will work on the paper and follow through on the plan. Final exams have been scheduled for weeks; set a plan for studying and work toward that goal. The journey will be more enjoyable and less stressful than if you realize the night before a final exam that it would be a good idea to study for it.

Advice on project management (i.e., a countdown to completing a major task or responsibility) is plentiful. The point is do something so that you are managing time rather than time controlling you. Check out this article by Michael Hyatt on how to make time to work on an important project. Make days count by realizing most great accomplishments do not occur from one big action. It is small, gradual progress that moves us toward goal achievement.

You Can Count Down, But…

This post is not intended to be a bucket of cold water thrown on your countdown to a big event. Rather, it is a call to embrace the countdown journey so that we get the most out of the time we put into realizing a big outcome. Go ahead and count down the days; just make sure the days count, too.