Enable Opportunity to Find You

door

Are you patient to a fault? In general, patience is a desirable trait and one from which the world could benefit if we had more of it. So, how can be patience by a liability? It holds us back when it is a reason for inaction. You have probably heard these sayings:

  • “Patience is a virtue.”
  • “I’m waiting for my ship to come in.”
  • “Rome wasn’t built in a day.”

We can convince ourselves to sit back, have patience, and opportunity will find us sooner or later. The United States is a country built upon the idea that seizing opportunity can not only provide a living but transform lives. Do you want to wait for that possibility or proactively try to make it happen?

This week’s One to Grow On quote is about seizing opportunity. Although the bravado of the message sounds like it would have come from an entrepreneur or business leader, it is attributed to comedian Milton Berle.

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door. Milton Berle quote.

It was more than a quip from Berle; he was involved in show business for 80 of his 93 years. His track record suggests he knew what he was talking about when it came to finding opportunity.

Hide or Seek?

The idea of creating our own opportunity can be at the same time thrilling and intimidating. One of the hallmarks of free market economy is the freedom to make our own way. We do not have to wait on an employer or the government to come through for us. As my friend and success expert Colby Jubenville says, “Go your own way.” In other words, we have the freedom to plot our own course. This possibility should thrill you to no end.

The thought of being able to build the door of opportunity is not always exhilarating. For many people, they are paralyzed by the prospect of taking on risk associated with a new opportunity. Instead of building the door of opportunity, we defer with reasoning such as:

  • “Wait until the kids get older.”
  • “The end of the year is a bad time to start.”
  • “I need to save more money first.”

I am going to stop here because the reasons were starting to come in a rush to me. You get the point—we unwittingly hide from opportunity, so much so we probably would not answer even if it knocked.

Your Building Projects

Answering the knock of opportunity or building a door to open new opportunities may be overwhelming. However, there is a good chance you are more experienced than you think. Reflect on times you answered the knock or were forced to figure out new opportunities. Chances are you have done it before and succeeded.

In my case, I think about the three books I have written in the past 18 months. I did not wait for a publisher to give me its stamp of approval (believe me, I tried). However, I knew that it was no longer necessary to wait for opportunity to knock in the publishing industry. Instead of missing out on sharing my knowledge to help others, I built my own door and self-published the books.

No Wait

Are you ready to build a door? If you are tired of waiting for opportunity to knock, you should be making a list of building supplies needed to make your own door. It is not necessary to obtain permission to chase opportunity. You make the call. It may start off as a side hustle, more of a slow build rather than an extreme makeover. No matter how fast you build, just be sure to have a blueprint so that you can build the door to usher in opportunity.

Don’t wait around for opportunity to knock. It is time to build your own door so opportunity can come knocking.

Start to be Great

start

Who would not want to be successful in their life? I cannot ever recall hearing someone say “mediocrity is for me—that is my goal.” Yet, there is an abundance of unfulfilled potential among us. Many reasons can be cited for not attaining the performance level for which we are capable. I am convinced one of the greatest obstacles is self-doubt. We cannot envision changing from our current state to one in which we could find greater abundance and joy.

If you are blocked by feelings of discouragement that you are incapable of realizing success, the words of the late Zig Ziglar invite an attitude change. Ziglar was one of the best known positive thinkers of his time. His thoughts about greatness can thwart the temptation to wallow in self-doubt that we cannot achieve greatness because we are not already there.

You don't have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great. Zig Ziglar quote.

My desire is to build a great personal brand. The good news is my brand does not have to start great. However, I must commit to starting down the path to greatness.

What Holds Us Back?

Building a personal brand is challenging because it can be confusing to understand exactly what personal branding is… and is not. In the book Me: How to Sell Who You Are, What You Do, & Why You Matter to the World, Colby Jubenville and I address personal branding myths before we get into how-to aspects of building a personal brand. These myths are harmful because they hold us back from shaping the personal brand we desire.

Among the most damaging myths are:

  • Personal branding is bragging. When we read about or watch others talk about themselves and accomplishments, it is easy to have feelings like “I can never do what he has done” or “She is so together, but I am a mess.” Keep in mind that some people get personal branding wrong in that they put the focus on themselves, not how they benefit others. When you focus on how you bring value to other people, your actions will reflect a brand that has meaning, not a shallow brand that is all about self-promotion.
  • Personal branding requires you to act differently. Building a great brand is sometimes perceived as synonymous with building a perfect brand. In reality, there is no such thing as a perfect brand. You do not have to strive for perfection, nor do you have to act differently than the person you are. Authenticity is a trait that is highly valued. Be yourself!
  • Personal branding is all about appearances. One of the greatest misconceptions about personal branding is its scope is limited to tangible characteristics: your personal appearance, how your website and other digital real estate looks, and information found about you online. While these elements are part of your brand, many more elements influence how you are perceived. In Me, we advocate the 3Ms of personal branding—meaning, makeup, and message—as a framework that goes beyond the esoteric aspects of personal branding to include those elements that create value.

How to Start to be Great

The keyword in this week’s message is easy to detect: start. Zig Ziglar suggests we need not beat up ourselves if we are not great. The permission to not be great now is contingent on being willing to start the journey toward greatness. You may be at point A but long to be at point Z. Rather than getting down about our brand not being at the desired state, we should channel our energy to start moving toward who we want to be.

The comprehensive view of a personal brand shared in the Me book includes several elements falling under meaning, makeup, or message. Three critical elements related to personal brand development include:

  • Knowing your value. We encourage people to write a purpose statement. The template can be as simple as:

name > job role or profession > value offered > benefit

When you articulate value offered, you gain clarity on who to serve, what tools you need, and how to communicate your value.

  • Setting goals. Make statements about how you want to be great. We advocate setting goals in a variety of life parts or roles including career, relationships, wellness, spirituality, finances, and “bucket list” goals. When purpose and goals are known and aligned, you set the stage to produce results that benefit others and bring you fulfillment.
  • Identifying the requirements. Clear vision on your purpose and what you want to accomplish are important, but they are not sufficient to spur personal growth. Take inventory of the mindset and skill set needed to reach goals. Resolve to fill in any gaps or deficiencies to strengthen brand makeup.

One More Thing

Do the work. Plans to enhance the elements discussed above is meaningless without doing the work needed to make things happen. Many people do not realize their brand aspirations because they are clueless about the work required to effect change. Awareness of the actions required is an all-important first step, but managing your brand so that it is solid in the three dimensions of meaning, makeup, and message is a must.

You have the potential to be great… what are you waiting for?

Be An Encourager, Not a Disruptor

positive-negative

 

Are you an encourager? We have people in our lives that support us, that urge us to keep going when we could talk ourselves out of action. Not only should we benefit from having encouragers around us, but we should pay it forward and encourage others who may need that nudge to take action and move forward.

Sadly, we also encounter disruptors in our life. They are the people who say it cannot be done, it is too risky. Disruptors might mean well, but their advice is detrimental to personal growth. Sometimes, their advice may not be well-intentioned. Their “help” is actually an attempt to hold you back.

This week’s One to Grow On quote is a Chinese proverb that exposes the disruptors in our lives. They are getting in the way of people who have committed to action. Disruptors are toxic and should be avoided at all costs.

Chinese proverb

Anatomy of a Disruptor

A disruptor could be a passive or active threat to your success. It can be tempting to write off a negative person as a malcontent or insignificant influence. Many times, the disruptor wants to spread misery like a virus. In that person’s mind, you should not have more success or fulfillment than them. Misery loves company, and you are invited along for the ride to nowhere with them.

While a disruptor could be mean-spirited and want you to wallow in their mediocrity, their insistence on holding you back could be driven by fear. They are afraid of being left behind. It is difficult for them to keep up with progress and growth. Doing so may require stepping outside their comfort zone. Rather than assume the risks associated with the possibility of failure, some disruptors play it safe and long for you to keep them company.

Attract Encouragers

The preceding discussion about disruptors was not much fun to write and even a bit depressing. Focus on those people who will not stand in the way and interrupt while you are “doing.” Take these action steps:

  • Surround yourself with encouragers. The late author and success expert Jim Rohn said we are the average of the five people with whom we spend the most time. Who are those five people in your life? Are they encouragers or disruptors? You may be uncomfortable with the idea of “firing” your friends, even if they try to exert negative influence. At the very least, be aware of friends’ impact on your growth. If they are disruptors, recognize them as such and do not allow them to have disproportionate effect on your development.
  • Make the proper inputs. It is easy to put down certain people for holding us back… too easy. We can be our own worst enemy when we fill our minds with self-doubt, false rationalizations, and negative thoughts about our potential for action. Ensure your inputs are consistent with an encourager’s mindset.
  • Be an encourager to others. We attract what we give. If you want to be surrounded by encouragers, you must be one to the people you serve. You cannot be a disruptor in others’ lives and expect to have encouragers give you support. In short, give encouragement to get it.

Where Will You Be Standing?

The Chinese proverb calls for us to get out of the way of others in their growth journey. Instead, we should be standing beside or behind them, being a resource to help them overcome the abundant disruption they will face.  This week, I will be more mindful of where I stand and strive to be an encourager, not a disruptor. At the same time, I am looking around me to assess whether there are influences that are standing in my way.

Take a Step Forward through Decisions

steps

Each day is full of decisions, many more than we realize. Many decisions require a conscious choice—should I do A or B? We make other decisions without giving them much thought. It could be a frequently made decision (e.g., where to stop for gasoline) or one made out of loyalty (e.g., where to go for a haircut).

Other decisions involve whether to make a decision at all. Should we embark on something that entails change, or do we play it safe and keep things as they are? This week’s One to Grow On quote comes from psychologist Abraham Maslow. He suggests decisions represent a choice between growth and staying where we are.

Abraham Maslow quote

Which direction do you tend to step—forward into growth or backward into safety?

Safety is not Permanent Choice

For all of my 53 years of life, I have valued safety. Descriptors like conservative, risk-averse, and safe fit me perfectly. The tendency to pursue safety can be traced back to childhood. My siblings and I were not encouraged to take risks. Opting for safety (i.e., not changing) was a way to ensure we did not get in trouble.

However, I am not blaming my parents, teachers, or anyone else for being a close-to-the-vest adult today. I may have started there, but when I opt not to take the step forward for growth today that is my choice. It must be pinned on me, not anyone else. Dr. Maslow’s words forced me to reflect on the idea that when I play it safe, I am actually regressing. I am not preserving the present state and definitely not growing.

Growth and Regression Choices

I cannot fathom making a deliberate choice to go in the opposite direction from personal growth. Yet, that is exactly what Abraham Maslow suggests in his quote. Growth is a choice, and so is mediocrity. When we do not get the promotion, receive the award, or develop the relationship in ways we see others succeed in doing, we have to ask ourselves what choices need to be made to realize desired outcomes.

It is too convenient to say the boss has it in for you, your customers do not like you as much as they like a competing sales rep, or you have not had the same opportunities as others to grow. Chances are decisions to pursue safety land us in a place that is actually farther away from our goals and growth than we aspire to be.

Choose to Grow

This week, I am going to be proactive in looking to make decisions that represent a step forward. Opting for safety is an easy decision to make and involves little risk. It also offers little to no reward. Instead of attaching value in playing it safe, we must remember that choosing safety regularly can have the unintended effect of setting us back. We do not set out to get left behind. Resolve to strike a balance between making decisions that could move you forward while not putting your well being at risk.

Photo by Redd Angelo on Unsplash

To Adapt or not Adapt to Change

For some people, “change” might as well be a four-letter word. We get comfortable in our jobs, relationships, and life in general. Change can take us to places we have never been… and we may not want to go! Change appears to be at odds with comfort. In order to change, we must step outside of our comfort zone and adapt to a new situation. Conversely, feelings of comfort come from consistency, or another way of looking at it is the absence of change.

This week’s One to Grow On quote calls for a different way of looking at change. Physicist Stephen Hawking equates adapting to change with intelligence. Hawking’s statement resonates with me as experience indicates change is closer to a certainty than possibility. Am I prepared to take change head-on, adapting to change to realize the best outcome possible?

It’s Going to Happen

Change is coming. The only uncertainties are the magnitude of change and how it will impact current conditions. The speed at which change happens can be breathtaking, too. Rapid change took the marketing profession by storm in recent years. A survey of marketing professionals by Adobe found that three-fourths of them believed marketing had changed more in a two-year period than it had the previous 50 years. That is a dizzying pace of change!

change in marketing

The external environment is a driver of change. Technology advancements, changes in economic conditions, cultural shifts, and competitive actions can upset the apple cart of stability. These forces are beyond our control. However, if we turn a blind eye to them or pretend they do not matter to us, we could get swept up in change in a way that puts us at a disadvantage. The insignificant competitor today could become the thorn in your side that causes great pain. Will you apply intelligence and change, or resist in order to stay in your comfort zone?

Why We Resist

While I buy in to Stephen Hawking’s idea that intelligence and adaptability are correlated, I see many intelligent people stubbornly resist change. Why do we resist change rather than deal with it?

  • Naiveté. Ignorance is bliss, they say. However, lack of awareness of change in the external environment is anything but blissful. We must monitor for change and its potential impact on us.
  • Fear of the unknown. Change can be scary. We may be forced to make changes to the routine or even more radical changes—a new job, new boss, different clientele, or strange city, to name a few. The unknown can be avoided by not embracing change, but likely at a cost to our growth.
  • Fear of the known. The implications of change, benefits of adapting, and consequences of inaction may all be known. Yet, we do not want to embark on a path of change. It is as if we refuse to change and insist on status quo we can get our way. Good luck with that. Change is sparked by external influences. You can not wish them away.

Discern and Adapt

Change can be either a catalyst or foil to our personal growth. We can fall into a trap of resisting change, or we can be open to how we can benefit (or at least co-exist) with change. I am not suggesting all change is good, that we should blindly accept it. Sometimes, the external force driving change is someone else’s self-interest. Pressures for change could be coming from their desire to benefit. We should modify Stephen Hawking’s statement to say that intelligence is the ability to discern legitimate change and adapt to it.

Answer to Retailers’ Problems in Palm of Customers’ Hands?

mobile credit card reader

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

One of the inconveniences of shopping at a brick-and-mortar retailer is the back-end of the process: checkout. Even if you enjoy the experience of walking aisles and handling goods, the fun can come to an abrupt halt when you approach the register and find you have company. Long lines and slow movement of customers through the checkout process can negatively impact the customer experience.

The term “cart abandonment” originated long before e-commerce sites were around. It started (and still happens) in stores. Many potential points for service failure exist. Retailers must take steps to ensure the final point, checkout, reinforces the shopper’s decision to buy and not question it.

Improving Shopping Efficiency

Retailers are incorporating technology to make shopping less of a hassle. Among the tools available are:

  • In-store pickup. Shoppers can avoid the store shopping experience altogether by purchasing online and picking up their order in the store.
  • Delivery. This service is not prevalent given the labor needs and costs. We could see delivery of in-store purchases promoted, and the army of contractor drivers on the road already (especially Uber and Lyft) could provide this service.
  • App shopping. Customers can buy wherever they are, including in-store, and pick up purchases in a dedicated mobile order area.

Artificial intelligence is another tool with great potential to help shoppers and fill the gap of salespeople and customer service associates created by a combination of low unemployment and retail expansion.

Put Shoppers to Work

Another technology appears to hold promise to improve customer service and increase sales: mobile checkout. Rather than being bound to waiting to take a turn at a register, shoppers using mobile checkout use a handheld device to scan purchases and make payment. This technology is not only convenient, but it can drive sales, too. Research by mobile services provider Stratix found North American retailers that deployed point-of-sale mobile checkout had an average sales increase of 24 percent of the prior year.

The advantages of mobile checkout are compelling for retailers to consider:

  • Shoppers spend less time in lines
  • Customer turnover is faster
  • Customers’ involvement in facilitating transactions could mean fewer employees needed
  • Customers appreciate controlling their credit card (it never leaves their possession)
  • Creates positive brand associations (e.g., “a modern store”)
  • Can segment customers to serve mobile checkout shoppers

Mobile checkout should not, and the foreseeable future, cannot replace humans. The call for greater integration of mobile checkout is not intended to eliminate customer service personnel. They are needed to give a personal touch to that final in-store interaction. Customer service is also needed to ensure the technology works and help shoppers when it does not.

Not So Fast

The above discussion about mobile checkout makes you wonder why more retailers have not deployed the technology. Unfortunately, retailers face barriers to serving shoppers through mobile checkout. Emarketer reported that a combination of technology and human resource limitations prevent more retailers from offering mobile checkout. The chart below identifies the top five challenges to mobile checkout implementation.

mobile checkout stats
credit: eMarketer

The main challenge is simply that retailers do not have the technology to implement mobile checkout. For many of them, having the technology would not be enough; they would still need to train or add store personnel to use and support mobile checkout.

Shiny New Toy

The discussion of mobile checkout in this article reminded me of a recent experience I had in a restaurant in Sarnia, Ontario. There was a group of parents and teenagers (six parties or so). When it came time to pay for the meal, the server brought to the table a couple of handheld payment devices. Parents paying by credit card oohed and aahed over the machines. More important, they noticed how much faster it was to pay for their meal than to wait on the server to process all of the bills. We were impressed by the use of technology in a relatively small restaurant, and it added another positive association to the dining experience.

Businesses must exercise caution when adopting new technology. Is it proven, or is it a case of adopting technology for technology’s sake? The sales bump realized when using mobile checkout suggests it is not a fad. Retailers should consider potential impact of mobile checkout on customer service, employee satisfaction, and store sales.

A Simple Formula for Your Best Year Ever

math formulas

The new year is more than turning the calendar forward to start a new 12-month cycle. It is an ideal time for a reset, to adopt new beliefs and practices. The result of this reset could be better job performance, a healthier body, greater feeling of peace, or increased income. We start the new year with good intentions to effect change in our lives. Unfortunately, setbacks and discouraging moments often knock us off the rails of self-improvement.

The words of the late tennis legend Arthur Ashe are reassuring as I think about what it will take to achieve personal growth this year. His advice is simple, yet we often fall short in meeting one or more of these directives. Failing to embrace this advice thwarts even the best intentions for personal growth.

Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can. - Arthur Ashe quote

Start Where You Are

It is logical to start where we are, yet our starting place could be one that we dislike or are embarrassed to claim. Starting where we are requires acknowledging the good and bad. In other words, we must candidly assess strengths and weaknesses. In our book Me: How to Sell Who You Are, What You Do, & Why You Matter to the World, Colby Jubenville and I encourage taking a snapshot (i.e., conduct a situation analysis) of where you are. It serves as a starting point for setting personal brand goals.

Use What You Have

Chances are where you are now is not where you want to be… and that is OK. Dwelling on weaknesses could cause us to overlook strengths we have (i.e., personal brand assets) that can support personal growth. Arthur Ashe’s words “use what you have” is a reminder that our personal brand makeup abilities, skills, knowledge, and experience can be used to create value for others.

In order to realize growth and change, now may be the time to add to what you have. Do you have a self-learning program in place? Are you investing in yourself? Career expert Dan Miller says success is guaranteed if you invest 3% of your income back into yourself.  Use what you have while at the same time be disciplined to add to what you have.

Do What You Can

Plans without follow-through are little more than dreams. “Change” and “grow” are verbs, actions that arise from actions. The bottom line is we must do (i.e., leverage where we are and what we have) in order to affect change and growth. We cannot merely think about personal growth; we have to be the driver of change and growth.

Efforts to advance your personal brand should come with a commitment to measure performance and progress. Evaluate progress toward goals regularly (e.g., weekly or monthly). Doing so sheds light on where you stand and allows you to adjust as needed. Otherwise, one year from now the only change could be that you are one year older.

Your Best Year Ever

I get excited when I think about having my best year ever. It is such a lofty place that it is almost intimidating to think about it. What exactly would my best year ever look like professionally? What would it look like personally? How the heck do I get there? How far will it push me out of my comfort zone to have my best year ever?

These questions are enough to consider dialing down what we want. A really good year or one of my best years ever will suffice. The enormity of pursuing my best year ever can be calmed by following the guidance of Arthur Ashe.

 

What Are You Counting?

countdown clock

An exciting time of year is approaching for students and faculty at colleges around the country: fall graduation. Thousands of students will complete the final leg of their education journey. The crowning moment will be taking part in their graduation ceremony. Anticipation is rightfully high among soon-to-be graduates. They are the envy of nearly all other students at their institution for whom work remains to complete their degree.

A running joke in my classes this time of semester is to ask how long it is until graduation. Someone in class has a countdown clock (like the one pictured above) set to the scheduled time for Commencement. They can tell me the days, hours, minutes, and seconds until the big event. Asking the question elicits laughs from students, but it also should serve as pause for reflection. Do we put too much emphasis on the countdown and not fully enjoy the journey that takes us to the end goal?

Don't count the days, make the days count. Muhammad Ali quote

Be Careful What You Wish For

This week’s One to Grow On quote comes from boxing great Muhammad Ali. His words encourage us to focus on getting the most from each day instead of wishing away days in a countdown. Please do not misunderstand, I love the anticipation of counting down to a milestone or  goal as much as anyone. What can get lost in the excitement of a countdown is finding joy and value in the days that lead up to the end result.

I learned not to get too consumed in the countdown several years ago. My youngest son was in preschool, and as his final preschool year dragged on I thought about how nice it would be to have him on the same school schedule as his older brothers the next year. In my mind, I was rushing him through preschool to have a more convenient schedule. On the day of his preschool “graduation” ceremony, it dawned on me that we were moving on from this stage of his life forever. As our youngest child, my wife and I would never have the opportunity to take one of our children to preschool again. I cried when realizing I had foolishly wished away a few months of time for the sake of convenience. In short, I counted down the days when I could have done more to make the days count.

Make the Days Count

Let’s modify Muhammad Ali’s point—you can count down the days and make the days count. The aim should be to create value while counting down toward reaching a goal. For example, a college student who is counting down the days toward the end of the semester should identify tasks that must be completed and schedule them. Have a research paper to write? Select the days you will work on the paper and follow through on the plan. Final exams have been scheduled for weeks; set a plan for studying and work toward that goal. The journey will be more enjoyable and less stressful than if you realize the night before a final exam that it would be a good idea to study for it.

Advice on project management (i.e., a countdown to completing a major task or responsibility) is plentiful. The point is do something so that you are managing time rather than time controlling you. Check out this article by Michael Hyatt on how to make time to work on an important project. Make days count by realizing most great accomplishments do not occur from one big action. It is small, gradual progress that moves us toward goal achievement.

You Can Count Down, But…

This post is not intended to be a bucket of cold water thrown on your countdown to a big event. Rather, it is a call to embrace the countdown journey so that we get the most out of the time we put into realizing a big outcome. Go ahead and count down the days; just make sure the days count, too.

Stop Playing the Blame Game

pointing finger

The blame game is one for which many of us have potential to become an all-star. It is easy to attribute failures and shortcomings to external sources when things do not go our way. Why should I take the fall for an outcome that I did not want, and by extension, could not be possibly caused by me? If we allow ourselves to have enough practice at the blame game, we could evolve to the point at which we do no wrong. All failures are due to other people, events, or trends.

Our goal should be to give up playing the blame game. Pointing the finger elsewhere is convenient and absolves us of responsibility… at least in our mind. However, former FBI international  kidnapping negotiator Chris Voss points out a downside to playing the blame game. Voss says blaming others denies us of a chance to change.

When you blame others you give up your power to change. Chris Voss quote

Rather than doling out blame every chance we get, should we be seeking opportunities to accept responsibility for our failures?

Why We Play the Blame Game

The idea that attributing failure to others does more harm to us than good is one I can accept. However, living that idea can require a significant mindset shift. It is a place I have to prepare myself to be as I am not there yet. Sadly, it is a place at which some people will never arrive. Why are we often inclined to place the blame elsewhere?

Blame is easy. Attributing failure to external sources is a quick and painless way to diagnose shortcomings. Sometimes, external forces can be very difficult to overcome—a brutal economy, an abusive boss, or a ruthless competitor come to mind. We cannot stop any of these negative forces, so how could we possibly be at fault when they are around?

Blame is painless. When we deflect taking responsibility, it saves us from taking a hit to our pride. If you lost out on the promotion to Gina, you can take comfort in the explanation that the boss likes Gina more. It has nothing to do with you… or does it? It is not a consideration when we use external attribution like medicine to treat failure.

Blame is normal. External attribution of failure is an accepted practice. Identifying something or someone other than ourselves as the cause of our woes is common in our culture. Doing so saves us the trouble of deeper introspection to understand our role in personal failures.

Blame versus Growth

This week’s One to Grow On quote suggests blame is a threat to personal growth. It offers short-term relief from the sting of failure but does not address how I can learn and grow so that I do not experience similar failure in the future. Instead of being a source of relief, blame should make me squirm when it enters my mind as an explanation for falling short. The reason is that external attribution prevents us from taking internal inventory of our strengths and weaknesses. If we are the reason for not making the sale, passing the exam, or strengthening the relationship, pinning the problem on others will mask our inadequacies. The bottom line is a me-first approach is needed to examine failure and being open to change.

The Point

One of my favorite sayings about blame is when you point at something or someone else as the problem, you have three fingers pointing back at you. The idea is we are more likely to find the root cause of failure by looking at where the three fingers are pointing, not where the lone finger is pointing. My goal is to become a horrible player of the blame game.

Reasons: Excuses in Disguise

We are masters of rationalization any time we do not attain a goal, fail to do something we should have done, or otherwise fall short. We can offer up seemingly legitimate reasons for failure. Perfecting this technique over time means we can absolve ourselves whenever it is convenient to do it. This exercise may shield us from being accountable for our missteps, but in the end it is little more than a fabrication of excuses that cloud the truth—we messed up.

The practice of offering reasons for failure that are nothing more than excuses wrapped in logic (or purported logic) is a shortcoming brought to the forefront in a book I am reading. Bernard Roth, a professor at Stanford’s Hasso Plattner Institute of Design, raises the reasons-as-excuses issue in The Achievement HabitStop Wishing, Start Doing, and Take Command of Your Life (HaperCollins, 2015). Would it surprise you that in a book about achievement the author says we must stop with the reasons (excuses) for our behavior?

Reasons provide people with excuses to keep behaving dysfunctionally. Bernard Roth quote.

The Reasons We Reason

Talk about change—I have years of experience as a “reasoner” that will be for naught if I buy into Roth’s view that the reasons have to go! I see his point and also see how rationalizing our behavior, especially when it contributes to falling short of desired outcomes, is a threat to growth. So, why do we allow reasoning to justify our behavior?

  • Shifts focus to external factors. It is convenient to point at forces beyond our control as reasons for our failures. The economy, the weather, competition, workload (feel free to add some of your favorites here) could interfere with goal achievement. But, are they really the reasons we fail? One “reason” I need to remove from my library is “I’m too busy.” It is an excused dressed as a reason. What “I’m too busy” usually means is I am not good at time management or I need to become more selective in the projects I agree to take on.
  • Avoids need to confront weaknesses. Reasons we do not achieve serve as a buffer from an uncomfortable conversation we must have with ourselves. Weaknesses limit our growth. We must be able to acknowledge their existence and resolve to negate (if not overcome) them. Admitting weaknesses can damage our pride, but pretending they do not exist potentially does far more harm to our personal brand.
  • Preserves image. Every person has flaws, but we usually do not leverage them as part of our brand. We position ourselves on positive attributes possessed. When we offer reasons for failure or lack of success, we shift blame for failure away from our own brand. This deflection preserves the image others hold about us. However, be mindful that regularly citing reasons for failure could have the unintended effect of projecting an image that you always make excuses when things do not go your way.

Be Unreasonable

Bernard Roth is on to something when he says reasons are provide us with excuses to behave dysfunctionally. Too often, we want to use a pass for our actions rather than reflect on what we could do create better outcomes for ourselves. This week, I am going to put an emphasis on being “unreasonable.” Don’t worry, I am not planning to be unreasonable in my opinions and actions. My goal is to cut out leaning on the reasons for falling short that do not really explain my shortcomings.