Do you struggle to make distinctions between optimism, pessimism, and realism? When it comes to your professional life, you want to subscribe to the “I can do anything” mindset but easily become defeated by setbacks, disappointments, and even failure. Negativity can put a damper on your quest to achieve, and “being real” often means you lower your sights for outcomes that may be attainable but are beneath your capabilities. What is the cause of this act of self-sabotage?
Inferiority Unleashed
This week’s One to Grow On quote is one of my favorite quotes because it reminds me I am in control of my thoughts. And, that reminder is needed frequently as we can be led to believe we are unworthy of being, doing, or having what we aspire to achieve. Do the following observations sound familiar?
- I’m too young (or too old)
- I don’t have enough money
- I did not go to a prestigious college
- I lack experience
- What do I have to offer
- Why would people want to connect with me?
I’ll stop here as I realize the list could become very lengthy! But, you get the point- we can talk ourselves down a few rungs on the ladder, closer to the ground where it is “safer.” If safe is your goal, you are set. If growth and achievement are goals, you realize you are taking steps backward that put you farther away from where you aspire to be.
You Are in Charge
You may be risk averse by nature or concerned with how others perceive you and your capabilities. Eleanor Roosevelt’s quote serves as protection against others asserting themselves as being a cut above you (and thus you being inferior to them). Are there others around you superior in terms of experience, rank, status, or wealth? Absolutely! Does it mean you are inferior to them? Absolutely not! They differ from you because of different life circumstances and journeys. They are not better than you (nor you better than them); you are merely different. You are in charge of discerning between real and perceived gaps between you and others. Recognize that different perspectives or backgrounds is just that- different.
Do not mistake this call for self-assurance with arrogance or creating an inflated ego. Respect must be earned and value must be demonstrated, but the good news is both of those things can happen. Back up self-confidence with performance.
This Week
You will encounter people who appear to be unique, superior, or better than you. In turn, you may feel unworthy of being around them. You may even resent their position and perceived superiority over you. Don’t take it out on them as you are the one allowing yourself to feel inferior to them. Replace feelings of inferiority with recognition of differences, appreciating the opportunity to learn from those different than you (remember they are not superior). Most importantly, remember that no one can make you feel inferior unless you allow it… so don’t allow it.
