Stop Trying to Please Others

crowd

Authenticity is one of the most admirable traits a brand exhibits. In a world of manufactured images, authenticity reveals one’s true character. Marketing expert and author Seth Godin says authenticity goes beyond being the real you; authenticity is doing what you promise. Sounds simple enough, but pressures to please others and adapt to shifting trends and desires can make it challenging to consistently follow through on promises.

A call to strive for authenticity can be heard in the words of playwright and author Raymond Hull. If our aim is to please others, we could end up looking little like ourselves. Following through on promises is a better long-run approach than changing based on others’ whims.

He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away. Raymond Hull quote.

Forget Pleasing Others

One of the most memorable books I read to my sons when they were young was from the Scruffy the Tugboat series. I cannot recall the title, but in the story Scruffy sets out to make friends with other boats. He tells one boat “you’re my best friend.” He proceeds to tell other boats the same thing. All is OK until Scruffy’s friends talk among themselves and discover Scruffy led each of them to believe they were special. Scruffy confessed, saying he only wanted to make them happy and not hurt their feelings.

When we trim ourselves to suit others, we lose sight of the impact we could have. Our value proposition is not dependent on making others happy. We create value by making other people’s lives better in some way. We teach, support, entertain, help—none of these value-added activities require us to deviate from our character. You can please others by delivering on your brand promise. That is how you suit them, not by bowing to what you think they want.

Sorry, Not Sorry

Like Scruffy the Tugboat, we can become consumed with making others happy. A brand cannot have universal appeal. It is impossible to be all things to all people. Even the most popular brands have detractors. Some people are turned off by the price; others think the brand image is too snobby. Yet others think the quality is inferior. More reasons could be cited, but you get the point.

Personal brands are no different. You will not be universally adored. Some people will think you are arrogant; others perceive you are incompetent. A few people see you as dishonest, and so on. While it is not fun to have haters, accept this characteristic as coming with the territory of having a brand. You need not apologize to anyone for any negative associations they have with your brand.

Brands have meaning and value for a certain audience. Your brand is reinforced in the minds of that audience by achieving consistency in words and actions. Authenticity is currency with your audience. You build up equity with them, making deposits every time you deliver on your brand promise.

Change your Focus

Take to heart the words of Raymond Hull and stop trying to please others. Instead, focus on becoming incredibly consistent in what you say and do. Those people with whom your consistency resonates will feel a deeper connection with you. And those people who don’t get you… chances are nothing will change their minds.

Which group do you want to focus on serving?

 

Setting Goals Should be a Scary Proposition

scared

Statistics attract me like a magnet sucks up a nail. Numbers packaged in a statistic can tell a story. The story is not always true, but that is another aspect of stats better left for another discussion. A statistic can drive home a point or idea, and I find them helpful for remembering information.

Two statistics stand out on the topic of personal goals. One stat has to do with setting goals; the other stat deals with goal achievement. First, statistics on goal setting make a clear point: The overwhelming majority of people do not have written goals. Author and success expert Brian Tracy says best estimates from research have found that only about three percent of adults write down their goals. That stat is disheartening to me as someone who is among the three percent and has experienced payoffs from having written goals.

The second stat may be even more disheartening. The probability of not achieving goals is high… very high. Researchers at the University of Scranton found that 92 percent of people who set New Year’s goals do not meet them. Maybe the 97 percent who do not have written goals are onto something. Why write down a goal if you probably will not achieve it, right?

A goal should scare you a little and excite you a lot. Joe Vitale quote

The thought I am reflecting on this week is a challenge to rethink how we view goals. Author and success coach Joe Vitale suggests goals should contain a blend of fear and excitement. I’m all for goals being exciting, but should we deliberately include fear in them, too?

What Goals Do

Personally, I cannot imagine what life would be like without having written goals. Well, yes I can as I did not have written goals for the first thirty years of my life. I have accomplished exponentially more in the last twenty years with written goals than in the first thirty years of life without them. Why is that the case? Goals serve many purposes, but the three most important for me relate to direction, performance, and accountability.

  • Goals give direction. The most precious resource we possess is time. You cannot buy more of it, nor can you borrow it from other people. Goals help allocate our time resources. They define priorities, clarifying how we should spend time.
  • Goals “stretch” performance. A well-developed goal pushes us out of our comfort zone. We stretch to accomplish more than we have previously. Even when I fall short of achieving a goal, the effort expended in pursuit of it usually leads to growth in some way. It is this aspect of setting goals that Joe Vitale’s quote speaks to directly. A goal could instill some fear as it pushes us to forge new performance boundaries. But, the uncertainty of doing more or different things is usually offset by the benefits of getting there.
  • Goals create accountability. If time is our most valuable resource, we must be accountable to ourselves for how we spend it. We are kidding ourselves if we opt not to be accountable for our actions and performance. Goals dictate what we need to do, and measuring to determine progress is a must.

Fear and Excitement

If you are convinced: a) you should have written goals, and b) they need to at the same time scare and excite you, what is next? Writing the goals, of course. But what should goals containing these two ingredients look like?

  • Fear. Think of an accomplishment you would like to achieve, then observe any doubts (fear) you have to reach it. I often share the thought process I went through when I first considered setting a goal of earning a Ph.D. and becoming a college professor. It went something like this:

– “Pass a written comprehensive exam after two years of coursework. I can’t do that.”

– “Pass an oral exam in front a committee of faculty. I can’t do that.”

– “Develop a proposal for dissertation research and defend in front of my faculty committee. I can’t do that.”

As I reflect on my initial thoughts about meeting requirements for a Ph.D., I realize I never told myself why “I can’t do that.” It was just the standard response that came into my mind. Thankfully, I did not listen to myself!

That goal contained some fear. It would be the most challenging academic program in which I ever studied. Also, the goal entailed fear such as would my family adjust to a dramatic drop in income as well as moving to another state? Fear may or may not be motivational to you (it does not have to be). But, an element of fear or uncertainty in your goals is not only normal but desirable.

  • Excitement. Goals should energize you. They represent a destination you want to reach. It is fun to think about being, doing, or having more than your current state. Without a plan and action, these thoughts are not goals but dreams. Goals motivate and spur action. That is why even when we fall short of a goal, we are usually better off and closer to achieving it than we were before setting the goal.

Be in the Minority

If you are not among the three percent of people who have written goals, you should join the club. Write goals that simultaneously scare and excite you… with a heavier dose of excitement than fear!

Quit Being a Quitter

negative words related to quitting

Self-reflection can yield deep insight into what makes us tick. Sometimes, it is hard to get to truths about ourselves. It can be even harder to accept some of those truths. I found myself feeling this way as I considered the words of Norman Vincent Peale, the famous author, minister, and positive thinking advocate. Peale said, “It’s always too early to quit.” I realized I am what you might call an “aspiring quitter.” Sometimes, it seems like I can’t quit soon enough, the opposite of Dr. Peale’s encouragement. So, I reflected further on Peale’s exhortation to not quit.

It's always too early to quit. Norman Vincent Peale quote

The flight-or-fight dilemma  that involves the decision whether to quit is one that is faced daily. The morning run is too tiring; I should slow my pace or even walk. The manuscript revision is too daunting; how can it be reworded to improve its quality? The business opportunity is too risky; failure could lead to embarrassment and even financial hardship.

Quitting could be a solution to these and other challenges we face. It could also keep us stuck right where we are. So, what forces tempt us to quit? They can be categorized as internal or external.

Voices Inside Your Head

You can usually look into the mirror to find the greatest obstacle to overcoming the urge to quit. We do not set out to sabotage our own growth, but we manage to do it. Leading the list of reasons we face internal pressure to quit are self-limiting beliefs. We buy into arguments about we can and cannot accomplish. Check out some of these beliefs to see if they sound familiar:

  • “I’m no good at public speaking”
  • “I am not a leader”
  • “I don’t have the connections needed to get ahead.”

I could go on with the list, but that’s not the point here. We can choose to believe whatever we tell ourselves about our capabilities. Those statements can be positive or negative; we get to author their content and tone. Interestingly, we often opt to tell ourselves negative things.

Well-Meaning Others (Sometimes)

Even when we convince the person in the mirror not quit on an idea or project, we may still face skepticism from others around us. Someone told me just today about a relative who was discouraging her son from pursuing a medical degree in college because “he wouldn’t be able to cut it” (thanks for the support, Mom). I have heard many stories of people with influence over others discouraging them like this mother is trying to talk her son out of studying medicine.

Well-meaning family and friends have been known to advise against moving away for a job, going to graduate school, or committing to a long-term relationship. Sometimes, their advice is rooted in the best of intentions. Other times, their position is based on lack of confidence in you or even jealousy that you might be happy if you move on. Other people can lead us to doubt ourselves regardless of whether the advice is legitimate or self-serving. Quitting is a response that prevents us from going too far out on a limb. And, it might even be pleasing to others who want us to quit (i.e., not get ahead).

What’s the Alternative?

This week and going forward, I am going to take Norman Vincent Peale’s advice to heart. It is always too soon to quit. Whenever I am tempted to consider quitting something, I will consider alternative responses. For example, when I want to quit running, I will think of a time I wanted to quit but found the strength to keep on. I will recall the euphoria of reaching deep down to complete a run and how I would like to experience that feeling again. Asking questions about how to deal with the self-doubt that is quitting can be a distraction if nothing else. We shift focus from quitting to the benefits of keeping on. The long-term goal is to remove “quit” from the vocabulary. There are options to quitting; they must be pursued.

What ideas, projects, or goals are you tempted to quit? What alternative ways of thinking about quitting can you employ to have a mindset that it is always too early to quit?

Personal Brand Defined by Habits

clock gears and parts

 The pursuit of excellence sounds like a lofty ideal that one may or may not be able to achieve. Why does it sound so far out? It sounds that way because we do not know what excellence looks like. How can we recognize something if we are unfamiliar with it? If we have never done it (achieved excellence) before, will we be able to do whatever it takes to get there?

What if excellence was not some nebulous behavior in which you engage but rather action based on habits? That is exactly how to reach excellence according to author and philosopher Will Durant. He states that excellence is an outcome of what we repeatedly do. Durant’s statement also suggests excellence is a choice. Excellence is a habit, but so is laziness. The good news is you get to decide which outcomes you wish to chase.

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act but a habit. Will Durant quote

The Habit Outcome

I reflected on Will Durant’s thoughts on excellence and concluded it was not a platitude. Many results in my life—good and bad—have been fueled by habit. Earning a Ph.D. degree, gaining weight, losing weight, running a half-marathon, writing three books, improving relationships, and damaging relationships all resulted from habits. We are indeed creatures of habit. People like me who love routine and consistency can easily find themselves in a groove (or rut) as a result of habits.

If habits define us, it is imperative that we define our habits. You can choose which habits to practice. Some choices are proactively made because of anticipated benefits. If you wake up one hour early each morning to write 500 words of a novel, you see a payoff from consistently engaging in that behavior. You are more likely to have a finished novel one day if you embrace a regular practice of writing. We become what we repeatedly do; choose to spend time on activities that will take you closer to who you want to be.

The Destructive Habits

To this point, I have focused on positive habits that will lead to desired results. Habits cut both ways, however. Bad habits can move you further away from the outcomes you want to achieve. It is not that you plan self-sabotage, but repeated “bad” acts can have a cumulative effect of hindering personal growth.

So, what destructive habits are impeding your progress? Some of the usual culprits include:

  • TV. American adults watch more than five hours of TV daily on average. Although some of that time includes multitasking (often on other media consumption like Facebook), the takeaway is we spend a lot of time in front a screen. Is that use of time moving you closer to or further from your goals? No need to respond—we know the answer.
  • Social media. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and other social networks have become media staples for many Americans. Pew Research Center estimates that 69% of American adults are social media users, and many are frequent users. An estimated 76% of Facebook users are on the site daily. Daily usage numbers are also sizable for Instagram (51%) and Twitter (42%). Could you be using social media to work toward goals? Sure. Is that how you are using it, or could you envision time spent on social media being used more effectively?
  • Wellness. Using the best time management techniques could be derailed if you are a physical mess. Some combination of too many calories, too little exercise, and too little sleep hinders our physical effectiveness. We have less energy and endurance to partake in constructive activities, missing out on growth opportunities.

Wash, Rinse, and Repeat

This week, reflect on the habits in your life. Which ones are working in your favor, moving you toward the person you wish to become? Are there habits that you would be better off not having your life? Recognize them, understand how they are hurting you, and set out to replace them with other habits (i.e., behavior patterns) that will move you closer to excellence.

Note: This quote is often attributed to Aristotle, but it was made by Will Durant in a critique of Aristotle’s work.

 

Branding and the Three Degrees of Different

peas with one different color

In branding, sameness is considered a weakness. You may have heard the term “Commodity Hell” used to describe brand parity or sameness. Notice the term is not “Commodity Heaven” or “Commodity Bliss.” The quest to avoid sameness in branding can be traced back to the purpose of brands. They identify the source of a product (i.e., the responsible party) and differentiate from other products. A brand that does not set apart a product as distinctive could be doomed to become lost in a sea of similar offerings.

The importance of separation through branding applies to personal brands, too. We like to think that the quality of our work is enough to signal our value. It can happen, but do not count on your hard work being the difference. Chances are many employees in your organization work hard, so work alone will not make you stand out. Instead of focusing on working hard, maybe it is time to make being different a priority.

In order to be irreplaceable one must always be different. Coco Chanel quote

This week’s One to Grow On quote comes from fashion designer Coco Chanel. She suggests that the ultimate in branding, becoming irreplaceable, is driven by being different. Let’s unpack what it means to be different.

Three Degrees of Different

Coco Chanel’s advice to be different sounds simple enough. Different is the opposite of same, right? Well, yes it is, but we must be strategic in how we set out to be different. You can realize three degrees of differentiation through personal branding. Each one has potential to work (i.e., set your brand apart from others). The question to ask about each degree of different is whether it would be effective for your brand.

Different for the sake of being different. We can be different simply by adopting a distinguishing branding element. For example, a man could make polka-dot handkerchiefs a signature look in his professional attire. Similarly, a woman could always wear a scarf (even have every scarf be the same color). These memorable attributes become associated with that person. They become “the polka dot guy” or “the scarf lady.” This degree of different allows us to check the box that we are somehow different, but we may not possess a point of difference that actually helps other people.

Different but not unique. Most personal brand differentiation is described as different from others but not one-of-a-kind different. College students earning graduate degrees join a small minority of the population with an advanced degree (only 12% of Americans have grad degrees). Select group? Yes. Different from the rest of the world? No. You may set yourself apart from many others in your organization or field in some way that benefits others. That outcome is good; it is the overarching aim of branding. The downside is that there is still room for others to eclipse your point of difference and render you less competitive.

Different and unique. The ultimate in personal brand differentiation is to set yourself apart from others in a way that no one else can replicate. That point of difference is likely small and could be a combination of traits such as skills, personality, and experience. This degree of different is realistically achieved over time. You will not start out world class at anything. Different and unique should be an aspiration, not a starting point for personal brand differentiation.

The Courage of Different

Brand differentiation comes at a price: risk. Sameness offers comfort and certainty. We are less likely to fail or stand out for the wrong reasons if we do not go looking for a way to be different.

Coco Chanel’s quote intrigued me. I wondered how she had been different. Chanel is credited with breaking ground in fashion and women’s fragrances. She challenged status quo in attitudes toward the traditional black dress. Chanel transformed it to clothing worn for mourning to a fashion staple. Equating becoming irreplaceable with being different was not merely a pithy quote uttered by Coco Chanel. Her contributions as a designer and entrepreneur were due to her willingness to take risks.

What degree of different are you at today, or are you mired in sameness? If the latter describes you, it is imperative to select how you will break out of those chains. You probably know people that are irreplaceable at what they do. What makes them different from others who are vulnerable to being replaced? What do you need to do to move to the irreplaceable list? Differentiation is not about novelty; it is about necessity.

Don’t Find Your Brand, Create It

create

The month of May is an exciting time in higher education. The conclusion of the spring term brings with it commencement ceremonies. This rite of passage marks both an ending and beginning. Graduates have completed requirements to earn a college degree. It is a time of celebration, but it is also an uncertain time as they open the next chapter of their lives.

I don’t mean to sound too dramatic when saying that graduates’ future is on the line as they transition from college to career. Given the stakes involved, you would not want to aimlessly wander off a college campus and see what comes your way next. A plan is needed for a first career step. It does not have to be a quest to find the job or company to which you will commit your entire career. You are looking for a starting point as you build something unique and valuable: your personal brand.

This week’s One to Grow On quote speaks to college graduates embarking on their professional journey. But, it also speaks to all of us regardless of where we are on life’s path. Are you actively creating what you want to be, do, or have? Or, are you hoping it will cross your path, and you will know it’s what you want when you see it?

Creating Work Life

Transitioning from full-time student to full-time employee is one of the greatest challenges for college graduates. Their experience and understanding of business can be limited. Even if you study business in college you quickly find there are many differences between business as examined in the classroom and the inner workings of a business to which you contribute. In other words, college can help prepare you to be an accountant or salesperson, but it is not equipped as well to train students to be employees.

You can choose to find yourself or create yourself when it comes to your career. One way creating yourself is manifested among workers today is the trend toward a higher number of jobs held in one’s career. Research from the Bureau of Labor Statistics revealed that workers born between 1957-1964 held about 12 different jobs on average between the ages of 18 and 48 . Holding different jobs has become a part of the early career stages. A LinkedIn study found that workers have an average of four different jobs by age 32. This trend among Millennial workers is markedly different from Generation Xers at the same age who changed jobs an average of twice during their first ten years after college.

The frequency of job change might raise some eyebrows, but it can viewed as a positive behavior… if the change is done in the name of creating yourself. Workers stuck in jobs in which they are not challenged or find their work meaningful are prime “create yourself” candidates.

Lost and Found

The choice to create yourself is so much more appealing than hoping to find yourself. Choosing the latter suggests that you must be lost. Many people are lost when it comes to their jobs. Surveys of workplace satisfaction have found that about 70 percent of American workers are unhappy about their job. The degree of unhappiness might vary, but it is a sobering thought that most workers have negative feelings about their work situation.

Statistics on worker dissatisfaction suggests most of us will become lost when it comes to work at some point in our careers. If you are unhappy, you can take comfort in knowing you are in the majority. Now, it is up to you to be rescued. You can drift and hope for a rescue, or you can take actions to get rescued (create a desired outcome).

What to Create

The find yourself-create yourself quandary has no quick fixes. However, the choice to create the life you want is connected to creating the personal brand you want. Your brand is a representation of who you are (meaning), how you are trained to create value (makeup), and your interactions with others (message).

Creating the life you want is impossible without first creating the person you must be to live out the life you want. The 3Ms of your personal brand are the ingredients needed to make that happen.

Authoring the Definition of You

dictionary

The definition of a brand is more complex than you think. A narrow view of a brand is that it is a name, logo, or other identifying marks that denote the owner or responsible party of a brand. Branding used for these reasons can be traced back to the medieval period. Today, the role of brands has evolved far beyond these functional purposes. A brand concurrently fulfills the roles of:

  • Identity (name, logo, etc. for which brands were originally created)
  • Image (perceptions in the minds of people who come in contact with the brand)
  • Promises (expressed and implied performance attributes associated with a brand)
  • Relationship (connection point between a customer or other person and the entity represented by the brand).

Brand building entails a tug-of-war between brand owner and constituents. Who defines brand meaning? The owner does… but so does the brand’s audience. The goal of brand management is narrowing the gap between how the brand owner wants to be perceived (identity) and how the brand is viewed (image). The wider the gap, the more branding and marketing attention needed.

"Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself." - Harvey Fierstein quote This week’s One to Grow On quote admonishes us to fiercely protect our brand. Actor and playwright Harvey Fierstein suggests it is our obligation to author the definition of our brand. Others will want to do it for you, but their definition could be incomplete or worse, incorrect.

Harvey Fierstein knows something about the importance of defining one’s self. He was one of the first openly gay American actors at a time when few celebrities had come out. Rather than hide or skirt the issue, Fierstein has woven his sexual orientation into his brand. His self-definition comes through in his writing on gay issues and by incorporating gay life into dramas.

The Define Line

Why is Harvey Fierstein’s quote on defining your life (and by extension, your brand) so important? You must keep in mind that your brand will be defined. There is no such thing as anonymity when it comes to your personal brand. Some brands are more distinctive and better known than others, but all brands are defined. The question becomes who will define it?

We live in a world in which people are quick to form judgments about a situation or person. If you have any doubts, scroll through comments on just about any news article posted on Facebook. Sometimes, you wonder if the people making comments read the same article… or whether they read the article at all. Depth of understanding is no obstacle to having an opinion.

This instant reaction environment has huge implications for personal brands. While I loathe the parade of articles and blog posts about the importance of a professional looking photo in one’s social media profiles, the point made is valid. People make judgments about us with no more information than a thumbnail-sized square full of pixels. They surmise our age, form opinions on physical attractiveness, and immediately can have a like-don’t like position.

Although there is much, much more to personal branding than your photo, it is a reminder that you must put in the work to define yourself. If you do not, the world around you will be all too glad to do it for you.

What’s the Definition?

It is imperative that you proactively manage your personal brand. No product or corporate brand manager in their right mind would let their brand be defined however the market wants to define it. The reason for marketing as we know it is to create a process for influencing others’ definition of a brand. Rather than accept others’ definition of you, stake out the position you want. If not, the labels assigned as others judge us will be our defining attributes. Do you want to be known as:

  • Too inexperienced
  • Not assertive enough
  • Lacking the ideal education pedigree
  • Uninteresting
  • Incapable of leading others?

I am hard pressed to think of an instance where any of these labels would promote your personal brand. They are labels handed out by others. Do you want to own them, or do you want to operate the label maker?

Have Fun with It

Take on the challenge to define your brand rather than allowing others to have that privilege. For far too long, efforts I made to define my brand were reactive, even driven by fear. I wanted my brand to be flawless and avoid making mistakes. That was my first mistake! I have gotten over pursuing that unrealistic ideal.

Today, I am having more fun than ever living my brand. It is what it is, and there is a lot of value offered through it. It is not perfect, nor does it have to be.

Learning: Homework Never Ends

books and formulas- we are always learning

The countdown to graduation is on for several of my students. Seniors eagerly anticipate the end of their final semester. Commencement will officially mark their transition from student to their professional life. Some of them are so excited they have countdown apps on their smartphones that remind them how soon until the big event arrives. I can poll a class any given day and find someone who can state the exact number of days, hours, and minutes until the Commencement ceremony. For some students, it must feel like being released from prison. They will no longer have to attend classes, listen to lectures, and take exams. They have been set free from learning.

I hope no graduating student feels that completing their college studies sets them free from learning. Yes, it might relieve them of the obligations of a college student, but their education has only just begun. Daymond John is known as the entrepreneur behind the FUBU fashion brand and regular panelist on the TV show “Shark Tank.” John has sobering news for anyone who thinks their education is almost complete. His directive is simple: Educate yourself every day. Learning is part survival strategy, part positioning strategy.

"The key to success is to educate yourself every day." Daymond John quote.

Learning as Survival Strategy

The need to educate yourself every day is borne out of survival. Your knowledge and skill set will be a significant factor as you compete for jobs and later, for promotions. If your field is changing rapidly, continuing education is not optional. One statistic drives home this point in the marketing profession. A 2013 survey of marketing executives found 76% of them believed marketing had changed more in the two past years than in the past 50. If education is a form of movement or progress in your life, then committing to ongoing education is a must. Otherwise, if you are not moving you will be passed by as the world (and your competition) adapts and grows.

Learning as Positioning Strategy

Think of education as a “get to do” versus a “must do.” Use learning as a means of differentiating your personal brand. In Me: How to Sell Who You Are, What You Do, and Why You Matter to the World, Colby Jubenville and I devote a chapter to building skill set. Many options exist for education, including formal education (e.g., a university degree or certificate program) and self-directed learning (e.g., online courses from Lynda or Udemy). The option(s) selected depend on the skills you need to learn or strengthen. In some cases, a do-it-yourself approach is more than adequate. In other cases, your best option is to enroll in an accredited, established program through an education institution.

Regardless of the type of education delivery you choose, the end result stands to be the same. In the short run, you will acquire skills that set you apart from others in your organization or even your field. In the long run, an ongoing commitment to learning can position you as an expert, a go-to person for an answer to a question or to solve a problem.

Congrats! Now Go Learn More

Although it is not quite graduation season yet, the train is pulling into the station. So, it is not too early to congratulate the Class of 2017 on reaching an education milestone. You have worked hard and persevered. The goal of earning a degree or diploma will be achieved. You have proven you are a learner. Now, it is time to embark on a lifelong journey of learning.

Embrace the challenges you had to conquer along the way as part of your personal brand makeup. They define how you made it through your formal education program. Maybe you worked two jobs on top of a full-time academic load. Perhaps you had to deal with family sickness or even death yet stayed the course to complete the education milestone you have reached. Those chapters in your life are not just part of your history. Allow them to shape who you are going forward along with the benefits from learning. Commit to educating yourself every day as Daymond John encourages us to do.

Change the Plan, Not the Destination

Notes and notebook

Are you a planner, someone who loves coming up with detailed instructions for completing a project or goal? Plans are essential maps that give direction to reaching a desired destination. Without a map (plan), you might reach where you want to go. However, it will be a trip full of uncertainty, and you might end up somewhere other than the intended endpoint.

Plans are essential for goal achievement. Whether you want to lose 10 pounds or run a marathon, you must have a method for getting to the desired outcome. The problem is we can become discouraged when things do not go according to plan. Before you know it, the weight loss goal has been abandoned or we decide to leave marathon running to others. We let flawed plans dictate a change in goals.

This week, reflect on progress toward goals you have set. If you are not moving toward the goal, the problem could be the plan in place. If the plan is not working, rethink the plan before tossing the goal.

If the plan doesn't work, change the plan but never the goal. - Anonymous

The Plan is the Problem…

Lack of progress toward achieving a goal can be discouraging. You see a path to reach a goal, make a plan for goal achievement, but like a nightmare road trip you never arrive. More times than not, the reason for failure to arrive resides in the plan. Possible shortcomings of the plan include:

  • Unrealistic time frame. We underestimate the amount of time needed to effect change or complete tasks needed to reach a goal.
  • Lack of knowledge. A plan might be doomed to fail because of not enough information or experience to craft an effective plan. If you want to start a business but have no experience, your launch plan could be incapable of getting your business idea off the ground.
  • Lack of support. A plan can be sabotaged by others who are less interested in your goals. They may even want you to fail because success would put you ahead of them.

Or It Could Be the Goal

I embrace the spirit of the idea “change the plan but never the goal,” but it could be a situation where avoiding “never” or “always” applies. It is possible that the goal is the problem. If your goal is actually more like a dream, no plan will help you. The commitment to learn, grow, and even fail is probably not there. Other possibilities for a misguided goal could be:

  • It is someone else’s goal. As a college professor, I have encountered many students over the years who selected a major based on their parents’ desires. It is hard to be effective (or happy) when you are pursuing an outcome someone else wants to reach. You have to own a goal to engage in meaningful pursuit of it.
  • It does not align with passion. Your goal might arise from a fantasy-like vision. The idea of writing a book or vision of being an entrepreneur are fun to imagine. The work and rejection involved in those pursuits—not so much. Certain aspects of pursuing a goal can be a turn-off, particularly when you do not have a strong emotional attachment to the goal.
  • It is the wrong goal. You must acknowledge this possibility. Repeated failure or setbacks could be a sign that you are chasing the wrong thing. For example, if you fail a real estate agent exam once you might benefit from changing your plan. Do you need to study more? Use different prep materials? Meet with a mentor? But, if you fail the exam several times it could mean you are not meant to be a real estate agent.

Not So Fast

It would be naive to always stick with a goal no matter what. Sometimes, goal abandonment or revision is necessary. What this week’s One to Grow On quote encourages us to do is not give up on a goal too quickly. We owe it to ourselves to first determine if changing the plan will overcome a setback in pursuing a goal. While giving up or changing goals can seem like the practical thing to do, it can be the wrong thing to do.

A final thought on adapting plans. A mentor can be invaluable in discerning if the reason you are falling short in goal achievement is the plan or the goal itself. You owe it to yourself to get outside perspective.

Time: A Nonrenewable Resource

hourglass

Wow! Look at the calendar. First quarter 2017 has come and gone. In what might seem like a blink of an eye, we will be toasting the arrival of 2018. How are you faring in making progress toward goals or resolutions you set three months ago? Do you feel like you are moving forward or treading water? Lack of progress toward achieving a goal can be frustrating, but it is not something over which we should beat up ourselves. However, failing to manage time is a shortcoming for which we must hold ourselves accountable.

This week, reflect on how you spend your day. Time is a precious resource, one that cannot be extended. Everyone gets the same 24 hours. Benjamin Franklin observed that lost time is just that—lost. Accomplishing more entails becoming a better steward of our precious time resources.

Lost time is never found again.

Where Does Time Go?

Are you proactively managing how you spend time? I often hear the lament “I don’t have time to…” nearly everything under the sun. The missed opportunities include not being able to:

  • exercise
  • read or study
  • nurture relationships
  • do chores or housework
  • get enough rest
  • pray or worship
  • enjoy a hobby

There is a lot we cannot do, at least according to our own version of events.

The activities listed above represent some of the things you want to do or in some cases, must do in the course of a day. Yet, we know all of the “want to” and even some “must do” things do not get crossed off our To Do list. Who or what gets in the way?

  • Ourselves. We are our own worst enemy and main culprit for stealing time. At an extreme, we fail to prioritize how we spend time and wander through the day with no self-discipline. An even worse outcome is that we know how to set priorities, but we do not follow through on the plan. The result is similar in that we fall short of what we are capable of accomplishing.
  • Others. Demands are placed upon us by children, parents, bosses, friends, all of the people important to us. We can manage impositions by saying “no” to requests that compete with existing obligations, that option is not always possible. We must carve out time to serve others.

Resource Management

Effectiveness and time management go hand-in-hand. My ability to get things done is highly correlated with being intentional about how I spend the day. I perform best when I manage time resources at macro and micro levels.

  • Macro. Set goals. I could stop there, but goals are invaluable for giving direction to how I spend time. Goals represent destinations I wish to reach. That information is a starting point for plotting how to get there.
  • Micro. I break down goals into weekly and daily activities to do in pursuit of them. I spend time on Fridays planning the next week. Similarly, I do not want to start a day without a To Do list in hand. Beginning the day by waking up and saying “now what?” is not ideal. Many productivity tools are available; check this list of five such tools. I use Toodledo to keep projects and required tasks organized. It does not matter what you use as long as you have a system in place.

Take Charge

We do not always have control over how we spend time, but we can minimize time controlling us by committing to control that precious nonrenewable resource that is time. Q1 2017 may be gone, but now is the time to head off regret of lost time in Q2 and beyond.

Image credit: Flickr- giulia gasparro, Creative Commons license